Crying in the Pit: Japanese Breakfast in Concert

Since Japanese Breakfast’s newest album Jubilee was released in June 2021, I’ve played it on repeat on virtually every occasion of my life: when I moved into my new apartment, when I binge-read Chainsaw Man, when I made my treacherous uphill walk to class, and finally when I unabashedly cried to “In Hell” as I drove six hours alone on the 5 heading northbound. Jubilee was always playing.

The album struck me in a deeply personal way and quickly became one of my favorites. Especially in tandem with Michelle Zauner’s memoir, Crying in H-Mart, I couldn’t help but transfix myself into her prose. It was the first time an artist I’ve liked had a similar cultural identity and experience to me as a half-Asian and white individual. When it came time to see her live again, it was nothing short of an emotional experience.

This past weekend on November 7th Japanese Breakfast performed live at the UC Theater on Shattuck Ave. She opened the set with “Paprika”— which also happens to be the opening song on Jubilee. As soon as the song started, the band filtered on stage and Zauner ran out singing and dancing. She was never static, constantly moving and making use of all of the space before her. There was a backing saxophonist and violinist, but the ultimate treat was when Zauner picked up a mallet and hit the gong. Every crash reverberated deep in my chest. The gong made the whole set for me because, really, how many people have seen a gong live at a rock show before?

“Paprika” is a distinctly special opening song because in the chorus she sings: “How’s it feel to stand at the height of your powers? To captivate every heart? Projecting your visions to strangers who feel it Who listen, who linger on every word.” Watching it live, looking around at the mass gathering of people who love their music as much as I do, I couldn’t help but feel completely present with both the crowd and the performers that night. I am the stranger whose heart has been captivated, who listens and lingers on every word.

Immediately after “Paprika,” Zauner jumped into one of the album’s lead singles: “Be Sweet.” The entire pit was dancing under the swaths of yellow lights. Even when it was time for sadder songs, like “The Woman that Loves You” and “Boyish,” the audience remained unperturbed, devoting their full attention to the stage.

I probably cried to roughly half of her set with “Boyish” and “In Hell” releasing the floodgates. “In Hell” is particularly precarious for me as the subject matter is about her mother who passed away from cancer in 2014. My mother also had cancer in 2010, and with everything Zauner talks about in her book, this level of shared experience is too much to bear. I was crying in the pit with reckless abandon, but I don’t think anyone saw. My chest welled up, causing me to choke up a few times. It would be a miracle if the person in front of me didn’t hear my voice crack. None of it really mattered to me though, because seeing the song live was the catharsis I needed.

Later towards the end of the set, Zauner took time to address the crowd and talk about the recent events that occurred at Travis Scott’s Astroworld Festival. She professed how much she loves what she does for a living and how it is an honor to perform. She believes it is her duty to help her fans out if they’re ever in need. She made a promise to the crowd that at any show if anyone is ever feeling unwell they should not hesitate to grab the band’s attention. The crowd cheered at her promise before she went into her next song, “Posing in Bondage.”

“Posing in Bondage,” Jubilee’s second single, is an atmospheric song which echoes her previous album Soft Sounds from Another Planet. The song is extremely intimate, touching on both the physical and emotional aspects present in a relationship. It reminds you of how exhilarating it is to be so invested in a person and agonizing insufferable to feel so strongly about them. The physicality of being close with someone is sung about in the song, but one can’t help but feel emotionally void. The lyrics tell a story of being cast aside, deprioritized, and it feels terrible. It’s one of my favorite songs off the album. Then suddenly, a wave of hands started desperately waving for the band’s attention. Someone had collapsed in the pit.

At this point, Zauner immediately stopped the song and everyone stood in silence until the medic was able to safely clear the person away. Despite the unfortunate circumstance, Zauner upheld her promise to her fans. Japanese Breakfast concerts are, and will continue to be, a safe space for people without fear of injury or death.

The show went on though, and when it came time to the encore Zauner played two songs: “Posing for Cars” and “Diving Woman.” When Zauner began to play “Posing for Cars,” she first announced the song came about from a “very productive shrooms trip.” The crowd laughed at the new insight this statement shed onto the track.

“Diving Woman” always blows me away. The red lights flicker with every sound and each member of the band was fully present with their instruments. When it came time for the solo, everyone went in. It was a beautiful cacophony of sounds. It was a barrage of instrumentals that felt melodious to my ears. Her guitarist and husband, Peter, walked over to her at the end of the song and the two stood there with the song still playing and slowly leaned their heads against one another.

It made for a touching moment, and I couldn’t believe I was able to witness it. It’s so loud you can’t even speak, but they touch their heads, and you can tell they know what each of them was feeling. It moved me to see two people who have gone through so much together share such an intimate moment together on stage.

Japanese Breakfast was by far one of the best shows I have ever seen live. Maybe it was due to our shared struggles with a mixed-race identity, or how we both resort to cultural foods as a method of connecting to our families abroad, or our relationships with our parents, but really it was all these things that encompassed an artist whose music I was able to emotionally connect to. We are vastly different individuals, but seeing Zauner perform was beautiful; it was a feeling of wholeness. It was jubilous.