I am someone who takes attending concerts very seriously. Foraging through the endless ticket selling sites, checking artists’ Instagrams, and updating my extensive notes app page of upcoming concerts has become a daily ritual. If there is an artist I want to see, I will find a way to attend their show. I live by the motto “if there’s a will, there’s a way,” proven by my going into considerable credit card debt to purchase concert tickets, working at a concert venue to attend shows, and entering (and winning) giveaways. A few years ago, I would have never even thought of attending a concert alone. If there was a show I wanted to attend, but my friends were busy or couldn’t buy a ticket, that was it for me too. This changed when I took the first action in my journey of truly exercising my independence and learning to love being alone. I impulsively decided to move to Berkeley after accepting my admission on the very last day. With a car sagging heavy beneath the weight of my life’s collection, a six hour road trip stretched out in front of me leading me towards an unknown future. Not only was I headed towards a new city alone, I also decided that I would attend the festival Outside Lands alone that same weekend.
This was the first of many concerts that I would end up attending alone. My relationship with concert going and with myself has shifted as a result of this new habit. It’s an experience that I think everyone should try at least once in their life. Being alone in a room packed with strangers presents itself as a daunting experience at first, but it can result in a deeply fulfilling and unique chance to connect with yourself and the musician before you. I’ve found it to often be a profound, emotionally charged experience.
There’s something special about being alone in front of an artist whose lyrics have spoken of a deeply personal truth that you could not yourself have put into words. Not only do I feel connected to the artist at the show, I feel connected to those around me even though I’ve never met them. Stripped of the distraction of company, a reflection on the thousands of moments and stories that have led this group of people to unify together inside a venue to share the love of an artist’s music is more intensely felt. Even if you’re alone in a crowd you’re not really alone, as you’re surrounded by other people who have felt touched by this artist’s music and who each have their own personal connection to these songs.
Going to a concert alone is also an opportunity to sprout new friendships with people who you would otherwise probably never meet. As a more introverted person I find it difficult to approach people at times, especially when I am alone. However, attending concerts solo has pushed me to initiate conversations and connect with others, boosting my confidence in all social situations. There’s friendships I have made through attending concerts alone that I still deeply cherish and that still thrive today. I even ended up dating a guy for several months who I met while alone at a festival, so girlies let that be some motivation to get out there and have your main character moment!
Attending a festival alone can be liberating because you get to attend any set you want without worrying about losing your group or having to sacrifice a set to stick with your friends. It’s also much easier to traverse the maze of the crowd alone, as you’re not struggling to trudge along a train of 10 people behind you. There’s no worry in having to match the energy of the people you came with. You’re the only vibe that is in your sphere, so you can do and act however you want to. You can truly dance like no one is watching because really no one is watching!
An integral part of individual development is loving yourself, and in order to do that you need to spend time with yourself. Attending concerts alone presents a unique opportunity to be in an environment where you can have fun with yourself. It’s a chance to nourish self connection, as you are making memories that only you will have with yourself. I’ve found one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life to be after moving to Paris alone, attending the Rock en Seine Festival by myself one of the first days that I lived here where I got to see Fred Again and Jungle, and even made my first French friends. Having no one to go with should never stop you from seeing an artist you love. It’s okay to be anxious, but trust me, no one has to know you’re going alone, loser!
Article and Photos by Bailey Schroerlucke