The ‘Teenage freak’ to ‘Deadhead’ Pipeline: Finding Authenticity with the Dead

Within the past month as I have been rewatching the 1999 television drama Freaks and Geeks, I am reminded of the first time I watched it and became introduced to the Grateful Dead. 

As I now watch high school junior Lindsay Weir struggle to be her authentic self in life as a teenage girl, I am reminded of how much I have related to her struggles and how a band such as the Grateful Dead gave us answers that we were both searching for. Becoming a Deadhead presented newfound freedom and life to both Lindsay and I.  

Laid against a soundtrack composed of The Who, Led Zeppelin, Cream, and other artists of the ‘60s and ‘70s, Lindsay struggles to fit in among 1980s suburban Michigan after leaving the geeks she had known her entire life to hang out with her school’s gang of burnout freaks. 

While she may connect with them through musical interests and their dislike of high school, Lindsay finds herself out of tune with the attitudes and behavior of her rock savvy friends. Though it is a simple, suburban life, Lindsay’s words and actions throughout the show speak for the attitudes of many; yet her criticism and scorn for the cultural norms of life in the early ‘80s are met with contempt by those around her.

The introduction of a certain psychedelic rock band, however, halted the monotony of Lindsay’s life and journey so far. In the series finale “Discos and Dragons” Lindsay learns that she has been selected to participate in a two-week summit at the University of Michigan. Uncertain about the decision to go, Lindsay fears that it would be the start of a life she has sought to escape. 

That is, until guidance counselor and hippie Mr. Rosso gifts her his copy of American Beauty (1970). As he recites the first track off the album called “Box of Rain,” he says “What do you want me to do, to do for you to see you through.” He recalls that it was an album that changed his life and offered him guidance when he was feeling lost. 

He stated, “When I was in the college back in the 1700s, I’d put their album American Beauty on whenever I was stressed. It always helped.” Mr. Rosso unknowingly introduces the message behind the music and culture Lindsay needs to free herself from a life that she has become disillusioned with.

As Phil Lesh sang, “A box of rain will ease the pain and love will see you through.” From the record spinning on her turntable, the Dead becomes what Lindsay had been searching for all along. Getting up from her bed, throwing up her arms, and twirling around her room, Lindsay and I became enraptured with the folk-rock album spinning. 

Up until this point, I had never seen Lindsay be confident in herself. As I compared the uncertain, unhappy girl to the one I saw dancing and laughing in her room to the Dead, I became intrigued into who this band was, and what they could do for me. 

Learning about Deadheads who would follow the Dead on tour across the country enticed Lindsay and I. “Well are the concerts that different?” Lindsay asked her classmates. Learning about the “judgment-free zone” of the concerts, as her classmate stated, where fans dance together freely and as one to live music that they have never experienced by any other artist, Lindsay realized that she had found what she had been searching for all this time. 

In the final moments of the show, “Ripple” plays as Lindsay ditches the academic summit to drive off in pursuit of the Dead on tour. As both Lindsay and I struggled with finding our purposes and joys in life, the Grateful Dead seemingly came out of nowhere to free us from our restraints. Lindsay finally found her people as she embarked on a tour of the country following the Dead. 

Lindsay left Michigan for a culture and a community she finally felt a part of. And though the path she embarks on may be scorned by others, the unconventionality of it stays true to the culture of the Dead and their fans. Lindsay adorns her signature army jacket and climbs into a Volkswagen symbolic of the journey she embarks on. 

While I may never know the consequences of her actions, or whether her decision was the right one, Lindsay’s journey of self-discovery only begins with the closing of the show. Since becoming introduced to the Dead I have clung to American Beauty in times of trouble. 

Each time the opening track “Box of Rain” begins to play, I grow to understand Lindsay’s final decision. The Dead has fostered a community of acceptance and guidance, becoming a pillar of support whenever one feels lost. The prominence of the Dead preserving the counterculture of the ‘60s has persevered throughout the decades, relived in media that has introduced their music and messages to listeners over the years.

In times of trouble, confusion, and loss, the Dead may guide you to your freedom. To quote the Dead: “Maybe you’ll find direction, Around some corner where it’s been waiting to meet you.”

Article by Maya Banuelos

Art by Jessie Yang