“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
-Jim Rohn
Recently, this quote was brought back up to me by a friend of mine; I think it holds a degree of truth. Just taking a glimpse at my Spotify “Liked Songs,” I see each of my friends appear as an entry on there. As we spend more time together, my friends’ sensitivities seep into my own taste. When I study myself in the mirror, I can see the compositions of my friends woven into who I am. I don’t think I pulled myself up by the bootstrap at all. In fact, I am a parallel to those closest to me.
We take up the form of the people we are close to, picking up their ideals, little habits, and joys. They all quietly shape us. I am a product of love: the love from my friends, my family, and me. In an algorithm-driven world, where you are constantly fed trending music on social media or the waves of influencers, I think the best tastemakers are the people you surround yourself with. Everything they introduce carries sentimental value, a feeling that’s often missing in the chaos of daily life.
Let me tell you how I came to be.
Seo and Harmonia are my housemates. While we share some musical cornerstones, I often stumble into new sonic realms just by passing their rooms or the restroom when they’re blasting music in the shower. One night, we took turns sharing our favorite music videos. Seo showed me the dreamiest one— “Antenna” by Hyukoh and Sunset Rollercoaster— and its visuals and melody drifting into my memory whenever I look up at the blue sky. Lately, “Tú” by Maye has been keeping me company day and night. I hear it faintly sneaking out of Harmonia’s room, and I’ve become addicted to its sweet melody.
We share a vinyl collection, and there’s always a quiet thrill when we play each others’ records. I live in a feedback loop, and it is good to me.
I met Abby in middle school. She lived a few houses away from my childhood home. Over the years, she has funneled so much insight — on life, and on music — to me. A few weeks back, we shared a pair of earbuds during a walk and she showed me a tune she has been enjoying (“Here Come The Warm Jets” by Brian Eno). Occasionally, she would send me a Bladee song and compare it to a sad film we watched. Other times, we would venture to the San Francisco Symphony together (we went to the Scriabin Concert where they collaborated with Cartier Perfumes). Recently, as I’ve been on a Daft Punk kick, Abby sent me a cover of “Instant Crush” from an album titled Babies Go Daft Punk. In her eyes, I feel seen. Abby is the reason I love Ryuichi Sakamoto. She’s how I discovered Jockstrap and “Glasgow” and many, many of life’s wonders.
Natalie’s favorite bug is the ladybug, and she is usually many, many miles away. But I always wear my ladybug earring on my upper lobe, so she is symbolically by my side. Maybe that is how she keeps me in the loop — whispering new songs into my ear like a tiny ladybug perched close, always sending me the music she’s been discovering. During our finite time together, she curates the perfect soundtrack that captures our playful rhythm of life.
As I navigate the ebbs and flows of life, there are times when the music I typically listen to starts to sound sour. Natalie has a way of remedying those phases, sending me artists she’s been enjoying. My favorite recent recommendation from her is “greaser” by The Crying Nudes. I can picture her braving the Boston cold with this song in her headphones, just as I’ve walked home at night countless times with it playing in mine. Music often shifts my perspective, offering me a new lens through which to see the world. When I listen to something she’s sent me, I find myself imagining what she loves about it—pulling me out of my own mind and into hers.
When you live so far from someone, there’s a quiet comfort in knowing that, at the very least, you’re sharing the same stars and the same tunes. I have so many muses in life, and as they offer me morceaux of themselves through the music they share, I feel like I gain a little more nuance into their worlds. Seeing what they love has led me to so many things I now love, too.
Article by Shannon Cheng
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