The Homeward Road: Miserable Faith Unites Bay Area Chinese-Speaking Diaspora in One Glorious Chorus

Again and again Gao Hu, lead singer of Miserable Faith (痛仰乐队), addressed the crowd: “Do not stop my music (不要停止我的音乐)”. “不要停止我的音乐,” I silently repeated. After shooting the third song on the setlist, I retreated to the edge of the crowd, observing the hundreds of faces and the hundred pairs of eyes transfixed on the stage — faces that looked like mine, eyes that spoke my own language. It felt surreal. 

I yelped aloud with excited disbelief when I saw the announcement for the Friends from the East Music Festival, which will take place over Thanksgiving weekend in New York, featuring four Chinese rock/indie bands: Omnipotent Youth Society (万能青年旅店), Canton Express (五条人), The Landlord’s Cats (房东的猫), and Miserable Faith. Except for Omnipotent Youth Society, all of these bands soon announced their individual US tour dates. Li Hongjie, founder of Friends from the East and MTAMB Music Festival, told me that he hopes the event can use music as a borderless language to change the stereotypes surrounding the Chinese community and intends to include more Japanese, Korean, and Indian artists as well as other music genres such as hip hop and electronic music in the lineup. 

I knew I absolutely had to see Miserable Faith and it would be a dream to photograph them. It was one indeed. As soon as I was led into the venue, I dashed to the front and flung myself into the photo pit. I was so thrilled I could not stop my face from beaming with delight, and I cheered just as loud as the crowd at the end of each song, camera in hand.   

I could not tell whose energy was feeding into the other, the band’s or the crowd’s. As the show progressed, Gao’s endearing, childlike side increasingly showed from under his rock musician getup and signature man bun. He frolicked on stage with the lovable bliss of a child. At some point, the visuals played a montage of heartwarming movie clips of families and lovers reuniting in tearful embraces. Bathed in a sea of warm colors, he sang for peace to prevail with idealist hope over simple chords and guitar strumming, an earnest plea for a better world.

The origin story of Miserable Faith reflected an important period in Chinese rock n’ roll history. In 1993, Beijing Mi Di Music School was established, the first music school in China that focused on modern music genres such as rock, jazz, blues, pop, and funk. The annual Midi Music Festival, sponsored by the school, was considered the Chinese equivalent of Woodstock and continues to be one of the most influential rock festivals today. Musicians from all over the country studied there, many of whom went on to become the most important names in the Chinese rock n’ roll scene. Lead singer of Miserable Faith Gao Hu enrolled in Mi Di in 1997 and after graduating, lived with many other rock musicians in a place called Shu Cun in the northwest of Beijing. Many bands arose from this period because of Shu Cun, one of them being Miserable Faith.

Formed in 1999, the band now consists of Gao, Zhang Jing on bass, Da Wei on the drums and guitarist Song Jie.Moving away from their hardcore metal style established in their first album This Is A Problem 这是个问题 (2001), their 2008 album Don’t Stop My Music 不要停止我的音乐 produced many youth rock ‘n’ roll anthems, such as tracks like “公路之歌”, “西湖” and “再见杰克”. Over the last two decades, the band has persisted through many ups and downs and has grown to become something of a touring juggernaut. The 2023 tour “The World Will Be Better²” is their first official US tour and continues from their previous tour in China, “The World Will Be Better 世界会变好”.

“希望世界回到最简单的样子，没有那么多傻逼的意义 (I hope the world can return to its simplest state, without so many stupid meanings),” said Gao.

Throughout the show, Gao bantered cheerfully with the audience, composed almost entirely of Chinese diaspora, which greeted the band with the excitement and familiarity of a long lost friend. One of the fans custom made a band flag and was flying the flag throughout the show. At one point, Gao asked the flag bearer to lead a crowd train or“开火车”,which is somewhat like a Conga line that is practiced the way moshing traditionally is at shows. The atmosphere kept swelling higher and higher and did not stop boiling over when the band ended the performance. The cry for encore lasted for a full 5 minutes or so before Chino Yang, a prominent Chinese Bay Area rapper, was invited on stage. This wa

s an unexpected yet significant gesture given that the two music communities in China are often pitted against each other—a concerning phenomenon and much to think about the translation of implicit racism through the globalization of music given that rock and hip hop originate from white and black communities. Gao subsequently performed two songs with two different fans, setting the crowd energy on fire. The show went more than 50 minutes overtime and the band held a signing session at the merch booth immediately after, leaving me filled with contentment and sweet reminiscence of the night.

As I exited the venue with a hoodie covered in autographs and a full heart of delight, I watched the people trickling out and listened to their eager and excited chatter about the show. For most of my time at Berkeley, I have been very  isolated from the Chinese language and the diaspora community. It felt surreal to hear their voices, filled with enthusiasm and intonations, juxtaposed against the San Franciscan night. I thought about how it was such a relieving break from the usual white crowds I always encounter at live shows. That night at the Regency Ballroom, though temporary, Miserable Faith built a space, a temple, of nostalgia, home, and belonging, During “公路之歌”, the crowd chorus was one of the most beautiful ones I’ve ever heard:

梦想, 在什么地方 (Dreams, where could it be)

总是那么令人向往 (Ever so desirable) 

我不顾一切走在路上 (Recklessly I journey on)

就是为了来到你的身旁 (Just to arrive by your side)

梦想 在不在前方 (Dreams, are they ahead?)

今夜的星光分外明亮 (Starlight ablaze tonight)

想着远方想着心上的姑娘 (I think about what lies afar, I think about the girl in my heart)

回头路已是那么漫长 (The homeward road is already too long)

一直往南方开 (Keep driving south)

一直往南方开 (Keep driving south)

I think about everyone here tonight, who all left everything behind to pursue anything in this strange, foreign land. I think about myself. At one point during the show, Gao recounted the scenery along his drive down south from Seattle that reminded him of his home, Xinjiang. It’s like the lyric, “一直往南方开 (Keep driving south)”, he joked. The highway to finding a home away from home was never easy, but Miserable Faith gave me a resting station where I could gaze at the stars before continuing on my drive south.

Article and Photos by Yansu Tan